Chapter – 1 : Lost Her Forever

Today I am going to lose her forever……

It all started back on a Wednesday in the year 2004 and though many years have passed since that incident, I still remember it all as if it was yesterday. The school had just opened for the new session and the wave of excitement to attain another years’ seniority was still running warm through the entire class. The day was warm with a hint of a mild cool breeze, a perfect weather to have endless fun on the lush green football field of our school. Alas, our class’s time table didn’t mention any free periods on that day and nothing seemed more stressful than the feeling of not getting to play for a 14-year-old enthusiastic child. Nevertheless, soon enough I realized of our history teacher’s absence which meant an entire period of fun on the playground. My happiness knew no bounds and I could not have asked for anything more. My fate had other plans though.

The 1st period began with us greeting good morning to our class teacher in a synchronized and melodious tone. She replied with the usual grim voice and quickly began calling out our names while making a note on the attendance register. The next thing she did was to call out Neha Gupta to the front of the class. The routine was usual, new kids to join our class were called out to the front to be introduced to everyone. By the way, Neha Gupta was supposed to be the name of the new kid who had joined us that day. While our teacher got busy introducing her to the class, I was busy taking out the subject books from my back pack. Until that one moment when I first saw her face and was left awestruck. Not that she was the most beautiful girl in the whole world but she was definitely the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen up front. It took me almost ten minutes and our teacher’s attention to get my eyes off her. I couldn’t tell what had happened to me back then but now I know. People prefer to call it love at first sight.

Two more periods passed with me secretly gazing Neha until the bell rang. It was history period and we were instructed to go out and play. Only three students remained in the class, Neha Gupta (the new kid), Kanika Taneja (who seemingly had become pretty close to Neha) and to everybody’s shock, me. All my friends knew how fond I was of playing football in the school playground. And yet here I was, sitting in the class convincing everyone how I was having an aching stomach and needed to rest a bit. It was definitely awkward but they had to agree after all. I kept on gazing Neha throughout that period (and all the periods after that) and only put my head down when she or Kanika turned to look back.

Neha Gupta turned out to be a brilliant student and a great athlete which quickly led her to become the shining star of our school. I, however, was just an average student with no such special skills. I would always look out for some reason to stay close and gaze her only to get away when she noticed. I guess Neha noticing me made me nervous. All I did was to gaze. We never spoke to one another. Not even a single word. I think I liked it that way.

After about one and a half year of gazing and not ever speaking to her, my friends began to make fun of me. They would even encourage me to go speak to her. And I would have if only my father had not received his transfer orders. But he did and we had to relocate with him. I had to join a new school. Everything went on so swiftly that I could not even grasp a hold of the entire situation until it was all over. I knew that my days of gazing Neha were over and I could do anything about it. I had no regrets in my life other than not speaking to her. All I wanted was a chance to say something to her. Anything would have been good, maybe just a simple good bye. But I knew I had lost my chance. For many years, I had hoped to meet her just once.

Many more years have passed and I long no more to speak to her. It seems that hopes fade away faster than memories. Today, I will be visiting the girl’s house who has been chosen to be my bride. My parents made the choice for me and I didn’t even bother to take a look at her picture which my mother sent me. I know I would not be able to love anyone else other than Neha, but I still have responsibilities towards my family. And perhaps it’s time for me to move on.

I might have lost the chance to speak to Neha Gupta many years back but today is the day when I lose her forever…